The Back Story: We Convinced Mom L. to Move In

While it might seem odd to some, I’m actually excited to have my mother-in-law move in with us. Less than a year after Mike and I got engaged, he’s dad died of cancer. It was devastating on so many fronts. Mike and I were clearly aligned on the fact that we would take care of his mom. (This was 2004.)

After living in her house for a year after Mike’s father’s death, Mom L. moved into Mike’s brother’s house and his brother moved in with his fiancé. It was an easy way to get her out of far away Maryland, where the closest relative was an hour away. It seemed that everyone knew it was a temporary fix – except Mom L. She was content living alone and enjoying the freedom of her days. (This was 2005)

Little-by-little her sight grew worse. She suffers from Age-Related Macular Degeneration (AMD) and has for many years. About a year after she moved into her new home, she made the decision to get rid of her car, since she hadn’t drove it. Now as anyone who has lived in the suburbs knows, you can’t get anywhere without a car. Thankfully the extended family nearby stepped to drive her food shopping, on errands and to the doctor. (This was 2006)

When Mike and I decided to move out of our fabulous one-bedroom apartment in Manhattan, we first looked at larger apartments in within the city to accommodate our growing possessions and a home business. Mike really wanted to own something – and if you know him, you understand why a co-op wasn’t an option. (The similarity between the word co-op and coop should not be overlooked here.) So a house it was.

We initially looked for two family homes with the thought that Mom L. would move in and have her own space. The best laid plans, I guess. The neighborhood we picked dictated that a two-family house wasn’t in our immediate future. But we found a large four-bedroom home that would more than accommodate our needs – and a mom-in-law. (This was 2007)

From the day we moved, we made it clear that she could come at any point. She wanted no part of it. She nicely said, “You guys are newlyweds in your first home, why do you want your mother-in-law there?” I love her for saying that, but knew it was only a matter of time.

When Mike fell ill last year, Mom L. came to live with us for an extended period of time. First a week, then two weeks. It was something of a trial period, I guess. I think we all realized that if we could co-exist during such trying times, we probably wouldn’t have much trouble on a full-time basis. (This was 2009.)

Earlier this year, Mom L.’s eye doctor told her she probably shouldn’t be living alone. After much deliberation, she agreed to move in with Mike and me. Welcome to 2010!

This has, to some extent, turned all of our worlds upside-down – in a good way. As we anxiously prepare for her move, there are a ton of emotions and issues that keep arising. So I figured I’d share them with the crowd in the hopes of helping out anyone else who maybe in a similar situation. And, hopefully, you’ll enjoy a little bit of a laugh along the way.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention – whenever Mike, Mom L. and I are together, we always find ourselves hysterically laughing about something. This is going to fun!